Where have I been for all this time? Puerto Rico.

Little man run…run…run…its ganna getcha…that tsunami is ganna getcha good! (This is how I felt every time I went sightseeing with my brother!)

I know I wrote a small entry while I was there, but I pretty much was quiet and too exhausted at the end of each day to do any thing more than check my Facebook on my phone. I am home now and it took me 4 days of sleeping to even get used to being home again.

I’m absolutely freezing, even though the

weather is starting to warm up- but its nothing like day after day in the sun or water and it being in the mid to high 80s with

a day or two hitt

ing 90. While I was there, I walked at least 2-6 miles everyday or spent hours in the water snorkeling

My back no longer hurts like it did, I am walking better and being able to stand for longer periods of time. Now to just lose more weight and I’ll be feeling even better. I got a tan (::gasp::) and lost 28lbs (::double gasp::). I am worried I will gain it all back now that I am home and not subjected to my brothers cooking and eating mostly fish and veggies. So I have to join a gym or something b/c I can’t subject my fat little puggle to that much walking. It would probably kill him like it did to me everyday. But I am ok with what my brother did to me- forcing me to go on and even though every step burned and killed me I did it.

I know this is off topic but I had to mention it- last night I got a tweet from the second crazy bitch. I have them blocked yet, they still seem to find me on twitter, Facebook or even here.

This is what I got- @Bipolargnome Nope! My sis Tenley,& Rachel, we all have our FBs,Who came to here to stalk me? U r blocked! u r nutjob, Proof is here.

This is what I replied with- @JaceyCohen get a life. I have warned you- I will be reporting your accounts and YOU in the morning.

I have to get off my ass and go to the Police station and file a restraining order of some kind against them. The original one is in Germany so nothing I can do there, but the other is here in the states so it shouldn’t be a problem with getting one or some sort of cease and desist thing. I think they are trying to set me up to go off on them or make me lose my mind. I’m not really sure but for now I am not saying what I really want to and just ignoring them to the best of my ability.

That’s really all I have to say on the matter. I had to comment and document it, so I did and I am moving on.

hospital_logo_1

Anyway, I stopped taking my meds about a week and a half ago- I have had a few cycles, but nothing horrible…ok maybe one thing horrible…my father was sick most of the trip. He has kidney problems and crones disease- The first place the ambulance took him to was called Hoare Emergency (pronounced whore…I chuckled every time someone said it) Since they don’t have morphine b/c of all the drug addicts around they gave him anti-psychotics. I know the real reason they kept shooting him up with those drugs. It was to knock him out so they didn’t have to deal with him screaming in pain from a massive kidney stone. So finally it got so bad he had to go to the main hospital.

So at about 4 am my brother and I went home for some sleep. Around 6am I get a phone call saying my father will be transferred to

Centro Medico in San Juan- The place looks nice on the outside…but not the ER Dept.

the main hospital Centro Medico (in San Juan) between now and 10 am. We got up and went to the hospital at 10:30 and could not find my father. There were tons of prisoners there and one said they saw him and he had been taken upstairs. The security guard who spoke some English-made us go to another hospital where he could not be found. Now you would think it would be easy to find a patient, just look it up on the computer. But no, they don’t have a system like that! They use paper ledgers instead!

Anyway, so we go back to the original spot and while I was talking to the security guard in broken English, they are calling over the loud speak in Spanish looking for the American (He was the only one in the Emergency section). Now my brother goes to take a second look around and he find my father in a hallway waiting for a place that they could get him. It seems he had to be transferred to the “Doctors Hospital” b/c he bottomed out and they couldn’t get him to wake up. It took them a bit but they finally had him stable enough to send him to the Centro Medico Emergency Room where the Drs there would start the process all over again.

A day later, he was still in the hospital and I was really starting to get pissed. There was this one Dr who plugged in her iPhone next to me and spent 2 hours playing Candy Crush! By this time I was fuming on the verge of raging but I went back to where my father was, expecting the x-rays and cat scans were done, but he was still in the hallway and right next to a prisoner who I found out was a rapist who was looking at me in the most horrifying way a guy can look at a girl. When I saw all the radiology techs just hanging around and on their phones and not wanting to speak to me in English, I lost it. I started screaming at anyone I saw on their phone and my brother told me to get outside now.

As I was walking towards the exit, the first security guard wouldn’t talk to me or give me a sticker and never once took his eyes off his cell phone. I went off on him and walked to the next security guard who was by the door to let people out (not in b/c they had about 200 people in hallways and were at max capacity). He was on his phone and wouldn’t open up the door for me. Now this guy was from the Dominican Republic, was about 6’2 and had to weigh at least 280. He was huge. I’m only 5′ and I looked at him and I don’t remember the exact words I used but I started screaming at him that he was a “fucking lazy motherfucker pussy ass bitch” or something of the sort.

The guy put his cell down, looked at me and then lifted me off the ground, holding my right foot and ankle

602147_495701413829410_1847315093_n and holding me by the neck and took me out of the hospital and said “don’t come back here”.

I had bruises everywhere and a sprained ankle. I could barely walk over to the bench and right under the no smoking sign I lit a cigarette and waited for my brother to come out- which he did an hour later and took me home. I had 2 days left in Puerto Rico and all I wanted to do was get back to NY. I didn’t care. I sucked it up and spent the last 2 days with my brother and decided to dye my hair black (I’m a strawberry blonde naturally but usually keep my hair red).

So I would call that incident a really bad trigger and I’ve only cycled a few times since I have been home. So we shall see what the Dr says about me being off my medication and if I have to go back on everything, which of course, I don’t want to do.

A lot happened in Puerto Rico that I could write about, but this post is uber long, so another time. Also don’t forget to subscribe to the blog or RSS to keep up with how things are panning out.

Til next time…

Amazing sunset over the Southern Atlantic/Caribbean Sea on the Rincon Beach

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Adonde es el Puerto Rico??

Posted on March 30, 2013

by Zelda

Amazing sunset over the Southern Atlantic/Caribbean Sea on the Rincón Beach

I can’t believe I have been in Puerto Rico for a week and 2 days. It’s crazy! We just left our beautiful house in Rincón and are on our way to the west coast to stay at an amazing resort for a week. The apartment comes with a golf cart! I did love the house in Rincón, it was beautiful and set up as if you lived there. Real soap, shampoo (not the little bottles either!), first aid kits, even toothbrushes! Pedro, the man who owned the house was amazing, I was talking to him about moonshine and he drove home and came back with a bottle of 5-year-old apple Puerto Rician moonshine – the bottle cost him $45 and he gave it to me as a gift. I know I will come back to Puerto Rico and stay at Casa Mar again.

I don’t know the place we are going to is called, and with my brother driving the car and all the windows open he can’t hear me, so I’ll have to post later all about this resort. They have their own private beach with a reef for snorkeling so I’m excited! I’ve decided that when I get back home to Rochester, I am going to see if I can dive and if so I am going to learn so I can come back here or where ever I might go, I will have the option of diving or snorkeling or even snuba!!!.

I just got the name of the place Rio Mar Beach and Spa Resort in Río Grande. Here is the link to the place its amazing!

http://www.wyndhamriomar.com/

The Photo Album of the resort and villa we are staying in

My family has decided for next Passover, we are going to meet in Canada and fly to Cuba for 2 weeks. That I am excited about because I know going to Cuba is like going back in time to 1950’s. Heather already said no to going so I guess my brother, father and I will do an annual Passover trip somewhere until I have a baby and can’t go far away or leave my other family behind. I know they will understand but then I’m going to have to clean my house for Passover..something I haven’t had to do in years!

So anyway, I’ve come to realize a lot in the short time I have been here. I can’t take my morning Lithium because I can’t keep up with drinking water so I am only taking it at night and honestly, I am feeling mentally better, my thoughts are more clear, I don’t feel so medicated and sedated. It’s nice, but like Heather told me, I’m good for 3-4 days and then I crash, so I have to watch myself and try really hard not to cycle or rage at my family. I learned today that when I cycle my eyes twitch and roll in a creepy sort of way. I had no idea and no one ever told me that happens until today. If I cycle again I am running to a mirror to see if I can see it but probably won’t since eyes don’t move in a mirror.

We made a Sedar plate out of a banana leaf and had fresh fish for the meal outside under the stars

I want to write more, write about going into the 2nd largest cave and underwater river in the world, about the Sedar we made, the chickens and goat I made friends with, but if you have seen the recent comments being made on my blog from friends of that girl I posted about and dubbed the dragon. Well her friends have found my blog and have engaged in cyber bullying, cyber stalking and hate crimes b/c of my bipolar.

It hurts me that they have decided to engage in such actions and for the first time, I have held back from responding besides saying thank you for reading my blog but please stop or I will report them (one is in the states; she is the new one posting but the other is in Germany). Its starting to bother me and I know that’s what they want. That they want me to go head to head with them and get me angry enough that they get what they want and then I am the one in trouble when I did nothing of the sort.

Little man running away from a Tsunami – I love this sign

So for now I will just wait and see what they do next, if anything, if under another new name and then I will decide my next move. It ruined my day today but at least I was in a car for 5 hours driving from the west coast of Puerto Rico down to the south, drove all along the coast and then up the east coast to be here in Rio Grande where we are 5 minutes (across the street really) from the entrance to the rain forest.

I’m excited and tomorrow I get a golf cart for the week so its keep my mind off of these events.

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So short!

Posted on March 25, 2013

by Zelda

This is going to be just a short note to say yes, I am alive.

I’m in Puerto Rico for Passover, ad the next 2.5 weeks and boy do I have a lot to write but it is going to have to wait.

Hope everyone has a good holiday (which ever you celebrate or not) and I’ll be posting soon.

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Do You Hear What I Hear?

Posted on March 14, 2013

by Zelda

It’s been a little serious in here for far to long, so I’m going to start a new blog holiday that will take place once a week. Each week, I will present a video/song from my If Your Crazy Shake Your Hands playlist.

First up is one of my personal favorites: Say Anything : Colorblind. What I like about this song is that it doesn’t have to be a break up emo song, but it can be about the emotions I begin to feel when a manic or mixed episode is winding down. What’s funny is that the lead singer, Max Beamus has bipolar and makes lots of mentions to it, or meds or hospital stays. His band is my go to music when I’m in a manic.

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Part 3: Do You See What I See..

Posted on March 13, 2013

by Zelda

I haven’t been able to write for a week due to a really bad flu followed by a really bad stomach flu. It was a double knock out and I am only just now feeling all right.

So where did I leave off in my little story? Oh yeah still in the kitchen. Everything was a mess. I could and couldn’t go into the kitchen without possibly seeing these horrid violent creatures that looked like a disease ridden forms of themselves.

As the years passed by, I seemed to notice I only ever heard them or saw them when a cabinet door was open, even a smidge open and I could hear them. But we will get back to the self auditing of myself later.
I still don’t understand the whole door thing and how I would know if a door was open when I was in another room but I never questioned it until this past year when I started to question so many memories that didn’t make sense, things I saw or people I spoke too. Was everything I remembered real, or just something that my mind created?

When I was 16 or 17, I saw a man with red eyes and a brown trench coat, looking at me through the window. It never occurred to me that I lived on the 3rd floor of a Brooklyn apartment and my brother had the fire escape, not me. I just remember the fear from seeing him and running out of my room. I don’t know why I didn’t tell anyone, why I kept it to myself, maybe it was just like when I was on the subway coming home from school one day and a man exposed himself to me- I never told a soul and I still don’t know why.

I would start to see the man with red eyes everywhere I went. I never really saw his body, it was almost like he was shrouded in shadows, and still it never clicked or occurred to me, that maybe this was a hallucination. But to be honest, at that age, I still didn’t know what a hallucination was. I was too involved in playing Vampire the Masquerade on AOL and too involved in steamy love affairs over the internet. I had dropped out of High school (I can talk about that at another time) and I spent my nights til about 4am every day on AOL and my days sleeping.

I became goth, only wearing black and rice powder on my face and just became accustomed to the man that never spoke to me, the zombie like gnomes in the cabinets and hearing the random name calling when no one was around me. I wasn’t drinking or doing drugs, I just kept to myself and on the weekend would go out with friends to a goth club in Manhattan that didn’t care how bad your ID was, as long as you had something, real or fake.

It was during this time that I started to have horrid mood swings, but they came and went and my father just took it as I was a teenage girl and there was nothing he could do about it. The deeper I got into my online game, I started to have problems between what was real and what was fantasy. I began to think I was a real vampire, I engaged in actions that I am ashamed of now. I began to visit this “witch” shop in the village (Manhattan) and buying books, candles, ingredients teas and met many people just like me. My new friends saw me as a vampire who could consume energy or blood, it was interchangeable. We would play these energy games, trying to drain energy from each other and strangers. I also started to get involved with the Wiccan community and found those who engaged in the “Dark Arts” and we would do these activities that I want to call unsavory. It was a hot mess.

Things were getting really dark for me, but I had something to look forward to. I was leaving for Israel for a year when I was 18. I couldn’t let anything mess that up. I got into some real trouble right before and I had been using heavy drugs to keep sane but I was able to climb out of that and board a plane to Israel. For the entire year program I did well, I decided to move there and I had my stint in the army, working with gun, doing work that made the combat men free to train and be prepared for what might happen at any time. I knew then that I would never leave Israel.

The photo posted to the left was for the one day we could take photos like this because of security restrictions. As you can see…I wasn’t one for tucking in my shirt! I don’t know if it was safe for me to be around so many fire arms but nothing never happened. I do remember the day though, that this boy I knew who worked with me, pointed a Uzi at myself and a few other soldiers and he was subdued and I never saw him again. The scary part of that moment was that the Uzi was loaded. I understand now more than then that I could have been killed, yet at that moment, I was one of the only people who was calm, almost to the point of not caring whether he was a shooter or just messing around. I guess you could say I was disenchanted from reality and had no idea about it.

Unfortunately, my father became very ill and I finally had to come home. Back to Brooklyn, back to NYC, back to my old room and not knowing what to do. I had a GED and a year of college credits from University of Judaism from my time with my year abroad. I got a job from my father’s boss as a secretary/rental agent in the projects and life went on.

About 6 months later, I enrolled in Brooklyn College and the voices in my head, in the kitchen and in my room were getting worse but I drowned everything out in whiskey and drugs- pot wasn’t doing it and I had to go to stronger and stronger drink and drugs to get through each day. You could say I was a high functioning drug addict and for the first time in a long time, I was single. No more internet relationships, long distance relationships. Just me, myself and I.

My internet game was no longer being played, so I didn’t even have friends to talk to and as I found out later, I started talking to myself, having full blown conversations, arguments, excitements, you name it. However, in my minds eye, I was talking to my friend Fred. He has been an imaginary friend when I was younger, a confidant as I got older and a friend who had never left me, I just never spoke about him. Why wouldn’t I speak about this “secret friend”…easy: He is a 6ft Grand Emperor Penguin.

I think my whole life I have had hallucinations, had mini and major episodes of psychosis. I know that most Shrinks don’t believe in children having Bipolar or forms of Psychosis but now that I am of lucid mind and its been 20 years since things really got bad, I can say what the Shrinks can’t. Something was seriously mentally wrong with me.

I’m not sure what diagnosis I would put upon myself as I grew up but I didn’t know the difference between reality and fantasy and at times I did experience other delusions and forms of grandiose emotions.

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Part 2 of Do You See What I See?

Posted on March 4, 2013

by Zelda

I have been trying to think what is the best way to start a part 2. Seeing as I have never written a part 2- I’ll just jump back in where I was from the last post. In case you were wondering why I stopped my post in the middle of a big revelation – no reason really. LoL I have a flare for drama and suspense when not paying attention myself. Maybe. I know I was feeling raw about what I was typing and maybe my brain actually did its work for once and made me stop without realizing it.

Anyway…on with the show!

So at the tender age of five…my very first memory to date, I remember a voice…sinister almost…more terrifying than the monster in the boiler room…21 steps from floor to door. ::shudders:: Oy bad memories! I never told anyone about the monster in the cabinets. Fast forward I’m 12 and I was sitting on the couch, all my families things in boxes. We were in Brooklyn, NY and I heard this voice that I knew, I would remember hearing it on occasion but I couldn’t remember where the voices had come from, it was a monster without a back-story of glory on other planets and enslaved forever to be the monster within the basement/kitchen for eternity. No it was scarier than them all

zombie-garden-gnomes and at that moment, that fear kicked in.

I was no longer a child of innocence.

I had finally understood what violence really was because that voice was violence and mayhem in one and I had been whittled away by these voices for years and today was their D-Day. I listened to the voices at that moment and it made me feel so worthless, another new emotion for my head and body. I say body because I moved like I was worthless, I looked like a child without a home filled with love. I became that emotion. This lasted a few days and one day I came home from school. This was maybe day 4 or 5 of a crazy move into a new apartment. Anyway, sorry for the tangents but as I type this, I’m fighting against a manic and I’ll have 2 or 3 sentences going like ticker taper in my mind and I slip from each line effortlessly but there isn’t any cohesiveness or staying on one subject and stop being so “word”ie.

So I came home from grade school to an empty apartment as usual; a dank, dark, half freezing half heated roach and mouse ridden basement in one of the worst ghettos in Brooklyn: Crown Heights. Everyone was more religious than my family, everything was spoken in Yiddish, I hated it with a passion and as I sat on a turned over painters bucket, I listened to that sinister voice, I believed what I heard and I went and swallowed half a bottle of Tylenol, drank the rest of a bottle of NyQuil and like they said, I did. I then took a healthy swig of pepto before plopping down on the couch and watching a video about I don’t remember. I fell asleep and when I woke up it was the middle of the night. I had thrown up and my father left a bucket and covered me not knowing what I had done.

..I grew up…this would be the first of many attempts, some successful (what?!? gotta keep reading to know that answer ; some not!
So how did you start hallucinating gnomes in your kitchen cabinets?? I was at least 16 when it changed. I wasn’t scared of this omgosh I am the scary monster in the cabinets. So either they evolved or I evolved - I’m still not sure. But things changed. I would open a cabinet to get a glass and they will be there, attention on you, berating you, terrifying to look at and horrifying to see but none the less you can’t look away. I would hear them whispering while I sat on the couch to watch videos after visiting the kitchen but not its cabinets.

I thought I had it under control, as long as I didn’t use the kitchen cabinets, I would be golden…I could deal with the whispering while I watched videos and TV. I started to hoard cups and dishes and hide them under my bed. I didn’t think about the process of a dirty plate under the bed, but I learnt very quickly I could go into the kitchen and grab one from the sink. However, the gnomes of the cabinets had learned or yet again evolved and now and then I would hear them again, quite often when my father was right there.

I don’t mean to be rude but I need to take a break from writing and I don’t want to post a long blog, another reason not to be rude. I’ll post again when I post up Part 3, or subscribe and have it instantly sent to your email.

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Do you see what I see…Part 1

Posted on March 3, 2013

by Zelda

I wasn’t so sure what to write about today. What you my readers would want to read since I have no drama to report. I do believe the dragon from Germany is truly dead or at least so deep in the wood that she won’t be able to climb out, but then again, I have no idea and it might happen again and again and again….I know crazy and sometimes that’s what crazy does.

So how bout talking about my crazy. Many wonder and very few know my inner secrets and workings. So I will start with the most debilitating of diseases. You might be wonder why I would use the word diseases, and it is simple. Bipolar is related to the brain and its normal functions, however when someone is Bipolar, these functions aren’t the proper signals Furthermore, Bipolar as of yet does not have a cure thus in my head and also in NIMH ‘s opinion. More and more places that deal with mental health are starting to see Bipolar as a disease of the brain…Going on now, back to the subject at hand- me. If you want to skip the medical tangent, slide down to the gnome photo and start back up around there for a good read today!

So it is obvious by this blog that I have bipolar- but what sort of bipolar distress do I go through on a day to day:

When I first wake up every morning I take a look at myself in the mirror. I just stare at myself in our bathroom, trying to judge what the day is going to be like. My day can be interrupted because I am a rapid cycler. I usually cycle 4-6 times a day, every day. But what I see in the morning or afternoon- depending on how late I took my meds.

Speaking of meds- I take 14 pills at night and if I don’t sleep 10-12 hours I’m in bad shape for the whole day. I’ll be twitching, dropping things, hallucinating more often, maybe even have a panic attack just from taking the dog from the house to the backyard. I hate that I loose so much of a day (or night) If I know we are going some place at 9am (which is almost never) I have to take my pills by 8pm and pass the hell out just so I can be up by the time I need to so I can go where I need to go.

But onto the “fun” part of my disease. I haven’t been officially diagnoses with schizoaffective disorder but if I was my shrink- I would diagnosis myself with it immediately.

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4^th edition, schizoaffective disorder is defined by the following:

Periods when psychotic symptoms and
mood symptoms (like mania, depression, or both) occur at the same time
At least 2 weeks of hallucinations and delusions without any mood symptoms
You experience mood symptoms for a long time
Symptoms are not due to substance abuse, medication, or a general medical issue

I suffer mostly from the psychotic symptoms.

What are the psychotic symptoms ofschizoaffective disorder?

When people with schizoaffective disorder experience psychotic symptoms, they can include:

Seeing, hearing, or sensing things that are not there (hallucinations)
Believing that what other people say is not true (delusions)
Not trusting others and feeling very suspicious (paranoia)
Avoiding family and friends and wanting to be alone
Being less able to show feelings
Being less able to speak or think clearly
Losing an interest in or ability to do tasks or activities

So the cat is really out of the bag now- so let’s talk about my hallucinations. The photo here, I found online, but the scary thing about it, is that it is almost perfect down to the bone of my main hallucinations…or rather daily incidents. I know typing this is probably not the best thing to do. Peoples are humans and humans judge be it positive or negative. At this point in my life

zombie

I don’t want so much attention gazed at me and not my disease. But I’m tired of Facebook group postings or the random email. Maybe because I am in a manic at this very moment that I am not afraid of what people think…

Because this is how I am, how G-D created me and there is nothing anyone can say or do to change it. I’m Bipolar…its a disease and life style.

I hallucinate.

I hallucinate like no other! Half of the day, I have no idea if what I did, heard, saw was real or not. Those hallucinations I don’t mind and then you have Hallucination like that to the right. I grew up loving Peter the Gnome series on TV and I always loved all sorts of gnomes. This brings me to the conclusion that the reason the hallucination is a band of angry, violent, mean spirited and aging horribly into skeletons had to be some sick twisted way of using something that I would know and be comfortable with, or so I feel that is how my brain works.

So how does this hallucination work: It isn’t every single time but happens more than not. Dishes in the sink, even 1 can trigger the rumblings that I hear coming from the cabinets Now I need to just input a smidge – the kitchen is a major trigger for me with my bipolar but the cabinets are special. I heard my name called from one of the cabinets in the kitchen and throughout the years, I have always had a problem feeling like a radio loosing its signal and regaining it for a minute or two.

This is the end of part 1 in a series of I’m not sure yet. Don’t forget to subscribe or follow me at @Bipolargnome. I’ll write more soon (this far has been emotionally draining, but I promise to be better next time!)

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Throwback Post to July 2011 – Confusion

Posted on March 1, 2013

by Zelda

It’s that time again when I randomly pick a post from the old BipolarGnomes.com and present that forgotten post here at BipolarGnome.com. It seems that today’s post was posted at July 14, 2011 at 5:23 am

Confusion

I often wonder if they notice how fast I am speaking or not for the matter. I don’t want people knowing how my mind works, how fast it is moving. How it never stops. I don’t want people to see that sometimes I’m hearing voices or seeing things that don’t exist. Yet again, how do I know the person I am talking to is real?

Sometimes it’s just better if I hide up in the attic with the a/c on to block out all sound.

This song has always resonated with me. LoL I wonder why ;

I only just read this small but amazing post. It was 2011 and I had just moved from Brooklyn to Rochester, NY and I was trying to make friends with Heather’s friends. I remember being in a manic for most of that summer, my need to move and be out overrode my social anxiety.

I remember trying hard that summer to not sound like I was slurring my words – I actually was in a place where I would rather people think I was drunk b/c of how I would be speaking, just do that they didn’t know the proof. I also wasn’t properly medicated at that time (I was being prescribed a anti depressant and seraquel).

Its strange sometimes when you pick a random post from an old blog and then you can look at yourself today. I don’t care who knows these days if I am bipolar, they don’t see the bipolar distress as I like to call it, but I explain so if they do, people know what to do about it.

It might have taken more than two years for me to get to where I am today but I got here, no matter how hard the brick road was- I finally made it to the Emerald City.

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Family: Grandma in murder-suicide bipolar

Posted on February 28, 2013

by Zelda

Family: Grandma in murder-suicide bipolar

Denison had history of mental illness

Updated: Wednesday, 27 Feb 2013, 6:26 PM EST
Published : Wednesday, 27 Feb 2013, 2:13 PM EST

Reporting By Sean Daly

PRESTON, Conn. (AP/WPRI) — A relative of two young boys killed in an apparent murder-suicide says their grandmother insisted on picking the children up alone — though their mother had objected.

Connecticut State Police say that after getting the children from a daycare center on Tuesday the grandmother, Debra Denison, 47, apparently shot and killed them before turning the gun on herself.

Related: Missing children, grandma found dead

Paternal great-grandmother, Marcia White, said the boys’ mother, Brenda Perry, asked Denison to bring along another relative when picking up the children. White said Perry feared the boys were too much for Denison – who’d been diagnosed with bipolar disorder – to handle.

White said Denison wanted to pick up 2-year-old Alton Perry and 6-month-old Ashton Perry from daycare because it was Alton’s birthday.

Timeline from daycare pickup to discovery

State police spokesman Lt. J Paul Vance said earlier in the day Denison had permission to pick the boys up from their daycare. She’d been armed, he said, when she left her home in Stonington Tuesday afternoon to go get them.

The police issued a region-wide Amber Alert Tuesday evening for the boys and their grandmother. Their three bodies were found in a parked car in Preston later in the night.

The chief medical examiner’s office will be performing autopsies.

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The Dragon Has Spawned Another…

Posted on February 27, 2013

by Zelda

you know it when you see it

OMG The Dragon (aka Rachel) has spawned another. I didn’t think this would happen, I thought I had slayed the beast once and for all. But no! A new beast has risen from the ashes and is even more verbally violent than the last. I have the most recent exchange I however came late in the game because of being sick and a fun little lithium overdose, but did I get the last word? Is this beast just a facade that the real Rachel is hiding behind?

I will present the entire conversation here, one for the entertainment of my readers and secondly, as proof of what took place (in case the po po shows up). I will and have not edited this or any other social media conversations but I will use the enter key to make things easier to read.

Just as I was about to post the conversation the blonde beast came back. So this post might take a bit to post.

Adam Wasser

Sunday at 5:53pm near Brooklyn, NY ·

I’m very concerned and worried about a friend of mine named Rachel M. from Germany. If anyone has the opportunity to give her a blessing at this moment I urge you to do so right now because she needs it at this moment. Thank you and God bless you all AMEN
- Nelda Cortez Yes.amein.
  
  Sunday at 6:03pm via mobile · Like · 1
- Bestman Iromantu Yes amen God bless her.
  
  Sunday at 6:22pm via mobile · Like · 1
- Avi Gutleizer I will say tihilam
  
  Sunday at 6:49pm via mobile · Like · 1
- Carrie Merkison ok
  
  Sunday at 10:48pm · Like
- Tenley Cohen SHE BLOCKED YOU ! BECAUSE YOU ARE AS CRAZY AS YOUR SISTER. YOU ARE A STALKER ! GET OVER IT SLILIMEBALL LOSER ! TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. IS YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY DAMN INSANE ?
  
  Monday at 1:06am · Like · 1
- Tenley Cohen AND EAT DIRT!
  
  Monday at 1:06am · Like · 1
- Gal Levinshtein She blocked you w/ good reason !!! Please delete this post as she is requesting & STOP harassing her!!!
  
  Monday at 1:10am · Like · 1
- Tenley Cohen THIS IS FUCKING WAR. YOUR PSYCHOTIC CUR SISTER MADE A THREAT TO KILL RACHEL … YOUR SISTER MONIKA IS ALSO ON DEPAKOTE, KLONOPIN, AND IS AND ALCOHOLIC. OKAY …WHO ALSO STALKS RACHEL, BECAUSE RACHEL IGNORES YOU. WELL KNOWN FACT….NOW IT IS YOUR TURN FOR A RESTRAINING ORDER.
  
  Monday at 1:16am · Like · 1
- Jacob Ezra Wasser my daughter never threaten her-the poor girl is sick and Delusional, she needs help, I seriously doubt that she is a pharmacist –many people pose as something they are not-and I feel she is one-all she has done is traumatized my daughter, and we have all the proof of it, the crazy accusations and all. If she is not sick, then she is a very deranged person and has caused harm to my family.
  
  Monday at 5:48pm · Edited · Like
- Jacob Ezra Wasser My son asks for your prayers to help her, I can’t bring myself to do that to some who texts my daughter at all hours of the road–I think she lives in OZ, as you alll must.
  
  Monday at 5:45pm · Like
- Tenley Cohen Must be genetic, this entire family is C R A Z Y. How could Rachel “text’ that cur, if she did NOT even know the cur aka Monika existed ? Until Monika OUT OF NOWHERE, ATTACKS RACHEL ?? And your nut case daughter has posts ALL over her own facebook where she writes herself of the meds she is on. DEPAKOTE.( BI-POLAR and SCHIZOAFFECTIVE DISORDER+ MORE SEVERE) AND KLONOPIN, a benzo, highly, highly addictive. Other drugs as well. And DRINKS on top of all that, plus the fact she is a mentally unwell person. THIS IS A FAMILY of LOONS. YOU ARE STRAIGHT INSANE. Good grief.
Adam Wasser Tenley and Gal, first of all ,happy Purim , second of all I have no idea what either one of you are talking about? I don’t know either one of you nor do I know Rachel, she’s someone on my Facebook that I occasionally talk to. I’m concerned about her because recently she seems very upset about something in her life,and felt that she had to take her anger out on me, my family and friends to let out the stress. She sent me a happy birthday message and I responded to it with delight. Her reply to my message was strange and upsetting. My sister came to my defense. She has recently deleted the message because she didn’t want people to see what she was saying. I hold no ill will to Rachel she is my sister and friend and I care about her. I will say no more to this issue because it’s silly and inappropriate and so spontaneous . I’ve never had an issue like this on Facebook before and I hope never to have a situation like this again but nonetheless I wish you all good will and a happy Purim to everyone AMEN

Yesterday at 12:22pm · Like

Tenley Cohen BECAUSE YOU WROTE SOME SICK PERVERSE REPLY ABOUT FERTILITY. YOU ARE A PERVERT. SICK. PORNO .

23 hours ago · Like

Tenley Cohen AND YOU ARE ALL SICK AND TWISTED. THIS ENTIRE FAMILY.

23 hours ago · Like

Tenley Cohen LIAR !! That’s a Lie. ! Ask, Bernard, ask most anyone ..ALL you did was spend 24 hours a day close to, attaching your idiotic, INSANE VIDEOS to her wall, her music own links, her photos, that she had to close her wall BECAUSE YOU ARE SO INSANE. Despite that she repeated asked you to stop, YOU KEPT , IT UP YOU FREAK !. You and YOUR FAMILY NEED A TO BE PLACED INTO LOCKDOWN…for the safety of others in a mental institution.

23 hours ago · Like

Bernard Corcos Hey Tenley, WTF is this? Who is the Mother F*cker who harrassed Rachel????

23 hours ago · Edited · Like · 1

Tenley Cohen She showed me the inbox… YES, THAT YOU SENT HER… DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO POST THEM ???? “I want to marry you and move to Israel”… ” You want children , you look so good”"… HOW ABOUT I POST THOSE YOU FUCKING LYING DIRTBAG SCUM,.. YOU SENT THEM TO RACHEL !!!!! and there are more !

23 hours ago · Like

Bernard Corcos Lool, Tenley, let this idiot in his fantasies and move on, it really does not worth your time nor anger

23 hours ago · Edited · Like · 1

Bernard Corcos Anyway, everyone wants to marry Rachel, hahaha )

23 hours ago · Like · 1

Tenley Cohen He IS A STALKER, as Is his NUTCASE SISTER WHO ALSO STALKS RACHEL. She is an alcolic /druggie too, Monilka, his sister.

23 hours ago · Like

Tenley Cohen Thanks Bernard…. talk later !!

23 hours ago · Like · 1

Bernard Corcos Well, Rachel solved the problem by blocking them anyway, didn’t she? And if they live in the same town, can warn police and the jewish community. Yes, talk later Take care

23 hours ago · Like · 1

Tenley Cohen Bernard…YES ! She did. NO, was as she is in Germany, she had to get a restraining order against the sister, was really hard , in the works, as it is overseas. Now she has to do it for the entire nut job family ! Oh, one word …yes she blocked, and two: “SPANDAU BALLET” !!

23 hours ago · Like · 1

Tenley Cohen He is the one .

14 hours ago · Like · 1

Bernard Corcos Indeed, she told me… Oyve, poor America…

14 hours ago · Like · 1

Bernard Corcos I love your way to insult by the way, a real Tiger!

14 hours ago · Edited · Like · 1

Bernard Corcos To be serious, it’s a real pity to have undecent people among us, we were supposed to be examples to follow…

14 hours ago · Edited · Like · 1

Tenley Cohen It was when you were on her wall, and having a discussion, yes, he kept interrupting with attachments. This much is true.

14 hours ago · Like · 1

Bernard Corcos I think I remember yes.

14 hours ago · Like · 1

Tenley Cohen Some has to take care of this whack job family. They are a menace to society.

14 hours ago · Like · 1

Bernard Corcos Funny enough, he hosts our discussion here. Maybe a sado-masochist? lol

14 hours ago · Edited · Like · 1

Tenley Cohen Well deserved !

14 hours ago · Like · 1

Adam Wasser Actually Tanley I did say that me and Rachel should move to Israel together.but if you read her response you will find that she thought it was a good idea but not the right timing.

22 minutes ago · Like

Adam Wasser Bernard Rachel was always on my Facebook making comments so what’s wrong with me being on her Facebook making comments. I can tell you that she was on my Facebook a lot more than I was on hers. The difference was when I would make comments on her wall you would attack me for my opinions . But when Rachel was on my Facebook she would make comments that I disagreed with but I respected her for her opinion.

19 minutes ago · Edited · Like

Adam Wasser What the both of you are saying Tenley and Bernard are lacking in trueth and only half ass in reality. The truth is me and Rachel had a good relationship for months on Facebook but as time continued she got upset with me because I supported peace with the Arab’s and Christians. I find that the both of you need serious soul-searching to be found within yourselves because what you’re saying on my wall is not only evil but full of lies and rambling

16 hours ago · Edited · Like · 1

Adam Wasser Actually Tanley I did say that me and Rachel should move to Israel together.but if you read her response you will find that she thought it was a good idea but not the right timing.

2 hours ago · Like

Adam Wasser Bernard Rachel was always on my Facebook making comments so what’s wrong with me being on her Facebook making comments. I can tell you that she was on my Facebook a lot more than I was on hers. The difference was when I would make comments on her wall you would attack me for my opinions . But when Rachel was on my Facebook she would make comments that I disagreed with but I respected her for her opinion.

about an hour ago · Edited · Like

Adam Wasser What the both of you are saying Tenley and Bernard are lacking in truth and only half ass in reality. The truth is me and Rachel had a good relationship for months on Facebook but as time continued she got upset with me because I supported peace with the Arab’s and Christians. I find that the both of you need serious soul-searching to be found within yourselves because what you’re saying on my wall is not only evil but full of lies and rambling

about an hour ago · Edited · Like

Adam Wasser PS this whole argument has only been on my wall. And no one else’s wall. So who is being harassed here? The person that had the issue on their wall or the person who never had a thing about this issue on their own wall?

about an hour ago · Like

Monika Wasser-Palermo I had said I would not write anything, but its time that I do.

1) You can’t get onto my Facebook or read anything unless I friend you – I never was friends with Rachel on Facebook

2) I am not on Depakote and have not been on such a medication in a long while – Rachel found out I was bipolar and probably assumed those were the meds I was on b/c of whatever reason she has

3) When my father said txt he was talking about how at 3am she had a fight with herself on a post that kept dinging to me and kept me up for a good while

4) I have never threatened anyone’s life but I did tell her she could do the world a favor and jump off a cliff

5) I am not a drug addict, meth head, crack user or any other drugs she has said I am addicted to 6) I believe that this is Rachel either using a friends page or she made up a new one – the way you both speak and how you do it is identical

7) I am not an alcoholic – I barely drink to begin with – ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you the same – I’m not a drinker and I don’t like bars.

8) I have EVERY conversation copied, pasted and not only sent to my email and left unopened for time stamps but also on my blog so everything is documented..

9) you forget that there was another person who saw everything that went down.

So here we go – I get it, Adam and you parted ways, you didn’t like that much so you took out your anger on me and now my family. Just get over yourself and stop lying b/c this is high school drama and we’re all a bit too old for this to keep going on.

about an hour ago · Like · 2

Monika Wasser-Palermo Adam sorry I wrote anything, but I just couldn’t sit by anymore and watch the lies thrown at me, you or Ta…hope you aren’t mad

about an hour ago · Like · 1

Adam Wasser I feel the same way, I could not sit beside and read this nonsense and not say anything while it’s being spewed into the public . And yes I find it very coincidental that they write and spell the same way Rachel does when she’s dealing with her own bipolarism.

about an hour ago · Like

Monika Wasser-Palermo bipolar maybe or maybe BPD borderline personality disorder

about an hour ago · Like · 1

Adam Wasser when I have a private conversation with someone on Facebook that’s between me and them. As it was between me and Rachel. But because of this situation I let my father today read the private messages that corresponded between me and Rachel. He felt that the way that me Rachel talk to each other was as if we were very friendly . and there was nothing in the conversations that showed anything but liking one another.

about an hour ago · Edited · Like

Maristella Sabino Adam, why don’t you just block all these people? They are spewing poison all over …

39 minutes ago · Like · 1

Adam Wasser My Facebook is open for all people’s, to voice their opinions about politics religion and whenever. I would be a hypocrite to not allow people to speak against me in public. Even if they are lies I feel they have the right to voice their opinions about me. As I do have the right to, to correct them in their lies and evil intentions .

30 minutes ago · Edited · Like

Monika Wasser-Palermo can I ask…what does cur mean?

9 minutes ago · Like

Monika Wasser-Palermo I never said that anywhere

9 minutes ago · Like

Monika Wasser-Palermo what does cur mean?

9 minutes ago · Like

DC Cohen beware the LIONESSES of judah !!

7 minutes ago · Like · 1

Monika Wasser-Palermo you are Rachel…..thats exactly what I said to her

7 minutes ago · Like

Monika Wasser-Palermo so nu, what does Cur mean?

7 minutes ago · Like

Monika Wasser-Palermo and no need to yell

6 minutes ago · Like

Monika Wasser-Palermo you’re the one who responded to a post that clearly put an end to this whole mess. So maybe you should look in the mirror…is it a person you like to see or something else? If you like what you see, then just relax no need to go on like this – heck we could probably be good friends if you just give up this verbal assault that is based on not true facts

4 minutes ago · Like

Now that you have read what is truly madness, doesn’t it make you feel better? I have my thoughts on this subject. Is it possible that my Ex would take months of talking secretly to my brother only to then go on this rampage? I’m not so sure about that scenario.

Is it possible that this woman really did like my brother (they sent emails back and forth for months) and because Adam didn’t believe in killing all the Palestinians so he breaks up with her (even though they are in a weird secret relationship) and in doing so, he unleashes the Kraken who was going against my brother til I stepped in and all eyes turned on me. – It could be.

All in all, I have a lot to think about in regards to this whole mess.

But I do know one thing

I BEAT THE DRAGON…AGAIN!!!!